托福独立作文修改

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/17 04:04:19
Contemporarily, a greater emphasis has been placed on what kind of writings we should read. Some people argue that non-fiction books are better choices while others proclaim fiction ones are more suitable for the modern fast-paced society. I tend to think that fiction books would be my choice.
To begin with, reading fiction is an excellent method to relieve us from the big pressure we suffered. Remarkably, the heavy tasks of studying or working have occupied a large amount of our leisure time, which indicates that we are in the lack of some funny and relaxing stories rather than taking a look at the obscure historical or professional books. Nowadays, with the technology developing rapidly, the appearance of televisions and computers has deprived people of the interests to book seeing. So when you pick up a book, are you really willing to choose a boring non-fiction?
Undoubtedly, fiction is a better choice for relaxation.
Afterwards, non-fiction is likely to be too bori

先看语言。

【reading fiction is an excellent method to relieve us from the big pressure we suffered】注意时态一致。应该改为we are suffering/we have been suffering.

【the heavy tasks of studying or working have occupied a large amount of our leisure time, which indicates that we are in the lack of some funny and relaxing stories rather than taking a look at the obscure historical or professional books.】
studying, working应为study和work
lack用法错了，应为we are lacking in sth.或者we lack sth.
rather than用法错了，后面应该跟动词原形或者名词
take a look at要去掉
这段话逻辑有点问题，学习和工作负担重=我们缺少funny和relaxing stories吗？建议改成：由于学习和工作负担重，我们很suffer,所以更乐意看funny and relaxing stories instead of professional journals.

【with the technology developing rapidly,the appearance of televisions and computers has deprived people of the interests to book seeing.】
这句问题很大。首先第一句要改成with the rapidly developing technology
其次has应为have
还有the interests to book seeing应为 interests in reading books.
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