请高手帮忙修改一下我的英语劣作，谢了！

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/27 06:00:20
Production and pollution
Nowadays, the discussion about environment pollution has become a matter of great concern for the general people in our society. Just as the pictures vividly show, in the first picture, although the production of the industry increases very dramatically, the environment has been polluted seriously by gas and waste water which the industry exhausts. In the second picture, another company, which makes many profits, does no harm to the protection of the surrounding.
The pictures are very simple; however, the problem that they reveal should be taken into account. The progress of science and technology, which can help us produce more production than it does in the past decades, improves our daily lives. Unfortunately, environment polluted by gas and wastewater also influences on everybody badly.
It is high time to do something to halt and reverse this grave situation. The effective solution to it depends on the effort made by both government and the

我觉得你写的已经很不错了，说是新手可不象，第一次写作文就这么高水平，佩服。参考以下我的修改，希望采纳，我的分快用完了，谢谢
Nowadays, environment pollution has become a matter of great concern in our society. As is shown in the first picture, the production of industry increased dramatically with large quantity of waste gas and polluted water emitted at the same time. This results in the serious environmental pollution directly. People who want to make great profit ignored their duty to protect both the air everybody breathes and the water everybody drinks. The second picture gives another selection of making profit without any destroy on the surroundings. For the same goal to make profit, these two methods to develop industry contrast dramatically.
It is necessary to find an effective solution as to how this environment pollution can be controlled.
On the one hand, proper policies concerning prohibiting the gas and wastewater exhausting should be made. On the other hand, modern machinery that can reduce the consumption of