请问以下自我介绍正确吗 应如何写的更好

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/13 19:50:10
My name is yangkemo. I'am twenty. I was born in NingXia. My hobby is reading and sporting. I'm an optimistic boy. This is me.
请指出上文中的错误并填充上文 使其更为完整

My name is .... I am twenty years old.I was born in NingXia.My hobbies are reading and sports.I think i am quite optimistic.Nice to see you. 不要This is me.

你这样写感觉有些严肃，句子太多，读起来不够连贯，略显枯燥。我帮你改一下，还是你这几句，读起来会舒服点。

I'm Yangkemo, twenty years old and was born in Ningxia. I like reading and a variety of sports, which made me an optimist. Above includes a brief introduction of me.

My name is yangkemo. I'am twenty－year old. I was born in NingXia.i am fond of reading and sporting. This is me,an optimistic boy.

myafra的答案就行。

顶楼上,写的好