这段话有错吗

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/21 12:56:24
Hi, everyone! It's a great honor to stand on this stage and perform for you. Although I can’t speak English well, I will do my best and not give up! Well, my name is Kylie ,(中文名), I was born on （时间）in （地点）, The gray hair on my parents' heads increases daily accompanying my growth .My parents are kind to me , they pass knowledge to me and teach me to be useful to the world. In my mind, they are the best parents on the world therefore I have a happily family.

not give up用never give up 更好
The gray hair on my parents' heads increases daily accompanying my growth这句话虽说没错,但用简单点的句子更好.

貌似一段演讲稿，语言较通顺，口语化。