英语日记——帮修改下，谢谢！

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/02 19:51:59
My workmates have gone to NanChang for a traveling trip.They got on the train to NanChang at 19 o'clock this afternoon.They will be away for 9 days,during this time,they will visit NanChang,JingGangShan,LuShan and HuangShan.Tomorrow afternoon, namely on July 8th,they will be arriving at ZhangShu . they will first visit JingGangShan and will stay there for two days.Then they will go back to NanChang and will stay there for a day.From there,they will go on to LuShan for two days' trip.The last place they will visit is HuangShan, which they have dreamed of visiting there for a lang time.On July 14th,they will get on the train to home.On July 16th,they will be arriving home and get over the exciting trip. I am one of the three person who left for keeping watch and I have not regretted it,because I will be able to keep studying English at home and have nine day's enough sleep.

Then they will go back to NanChang and will stay there for a day
a 改为one好一点．
From there,they will go on to LuShan for two days' trip
go on后要加动词ing形式的加一个visiting好一点，two days' trip
two后面要加a．
which they have dreamed of visiting there for a lang time
there可以去掉因为前面有which了，which即指代there．
大错误倒没有，但是写的不是很地道，中国式的英语．加油！