拜托各位帮小女子批改一下英语中考-书面表达!!!SOS!有分

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/26 19:26:17
十、书面表达（10分）
下面是Sara的申请表。假如你是Sara，请根据表格信息，写一封信介绍你自己，申请参加暑假澳大利亚交换学生项目。
注意：必须包括表格内容，可适当发挥。书信开头结尾已给出，不必抄写。（词数80—100）
Application Form（申请表）
Name: Sara
Age :15
Nationality: Chinese
Grade :Junior3
School :No.1 Middle School
Personality :Outgoing and friendly
Favorite subjects :English and music
Hobbies :Collecting stamps, listening to music
Plan :Learn English and make many friends
以下是我写的正文:
Dear Sir,
I wish to be an exchange student in Australia this summer vacation. My name is Sara.
I’m fifiteen. I’m from China and I’m Chinese.I’m studing in No.1middle school.I’m Jonior 3.
I’m outgoing and friendly.My favorite subjects is English and music.My hobbies are collecting stamps and listening to the music.My plan is learn English and make many friends.
Yours,
Sara
评分标准：
考查要点：内容、语言结构和篇幅（允许字数上下浮动15~20字）。

第四档：（9~20分）很好地完成试题规定的任务。

1. 能覆盖全部内容要点。

2. 运用较多的语法结

Dear Sir,
I wish（改成hope，wish代表的愿望不易实现） to be an exchange student in Australia this summer vacation. My name is Sara.
I’m fifiteen. I’m from China and I’m Chinese.（意思比较重复，改为I'm a fiftten-year-old Chinese girl)I’m studing in No.1middle school.I’m Jonior 3. （最好改为I study in No.1middle school，I’m Jonior 3. 或整句改为I have studied in No.1middle school for three years.）
I’m outgoing and friendly.My favorite subjects is（改为are） English and music.My hobbies are collecting stamps and listening to the music.My plan is learn（改为to learn） English and make（改为to make） many friends.
Yours,
Sara

避免语法错误一般可以拿到8分左右。有出彩的语言就是9分了。加油！
估分也只是根据我初中的经验～

Dear Sir,
My name is Sara.I hope(wish的东西是永远不能实现的) to be an exchange student to Australia this summer vacation.
I’m a fifiteen-year-old girl from China and I’m a Jonior-3-student studing in No.1middle school.
I’m outgoing and friendly.My favorite subjects are English and music. I love collectin