UC知道谁能帮我润色一下这段话
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/05 08:50:35
In the recent decades of years, China has experienced an ever increasing economy booming. With the development of the economy，many companies have to change their ways of management and strategies of development,which improves their need for Information and communication Technology. As a result, information industry in China has undergone fast development. As an old saying says “technology is the source of productivity”, technology plays a central role in modern society. However, at present, the field of Distributed Systems in China is still at its preliminary period; short of professionals who are expert in Distributed Systems is the one of the most compelling problems. The vacancy in this field motivates me to pursue further study in Distributed Systems.
在线等啊，很着急，谁帮帮忙,我改来改去也是这样
呵呵，我改了一些不太准确的词，加了几个连词显得通顺一些，删掉了多余的东西。不知道怎么样。请多多指教^_^
In the recent decades ,China has experienced an ever increasing economic boom. With the development of the economy，many companies have to change their ways of management and strategies to meet their needs for Information and Communication Technology.As a result, information industry in China has undergone fast development. As an old saying “technology is the source of productivity”, technology plays a central role in modern society.However, Distributed Systems in China is still at its preliminary period at present,and shortage of professionals who are expert in Distributed Systems is one of the most compelling problems. The vacancy in this field drives me to pursue further study in Distributed Systems.
的确比较生硬，虽然你的连接词不少，估计是你的句子的长度造成的，BTW，一般来说，GRE,TOEFL作文中，你都没有必要全部使用长句，否则让人难懂，晦涩，很难写出节奏感来，我觉得这个你自己修改就行了，可以适当的，缩短一些句子的长度(not all! )
In the recent decades of years, China has experienced an ever increasing economy bo