英语高手改改俺的作文好吗?谢谢啦

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/25 02:38:23
Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I first decide tobuy some presents for her.Then we take a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma are waiting for us when we get there.They show their happiness for our coming.When Igive the presents to grandma,she really feel happy with a smile.
We set down to talk and my uncle go to prepare for the lunch.The lunch is so nice that we all enjoy it.At 4:00 we say goodbay to eachother and come back to home
感谢大家的热情帮助,我一定会努力进步的!!!

我帮你改了几处,你的思路很清晰,但是有一点很重要,你却忘记了,这是一篇类似日记的东西,叙述的是过去的事情,除了第一句,其他就一定要用过去式.
具体改的地方还有:
1,爸爸妈妈还有我决定给祖母买礼物.你加了一个first,不知道你要表达什么意思,如果你要表达"起初","首先",后面并没有与之呼应的词.如果你想表示"立刻,马上",可以用immediately.
2,We set down to talk and my uncle go to prepare for the lunch.
你是想说我们坐下来谈话的话,set就要改成sit 的过去式sat,如果你想表达我们开始谈话,用set down to do sth是可以的.后面的叔叔go to prepare for the lunch,你叔叔肯定是去准备午饭,也就是说是他去做饭了,而不是为了这顿饭,他自己做准备,所以应改为prepare the lunch.
3, At 4:00 we said goodbay to eachother and came back home
goodbye你拼错了. 这个eachother你再考虑一下,你想表达我们相互说了再见,但似乎只是表示两个人之间.

别的没什么了,个人意见仅供参考.

Today is my grandma's birthday.Father,mother and I decided to buy some presents for her.Then we took a bus to grandma's home.
My uncle and grandma were waiting for us when we got there.They showed their happiness for our coming.When I gave the presents to grandma,she really felt happy with a smile.
We sat down to talk and my uncle went to prepare