我写了一首英文诗,帮忙评价以下,如有不足之处请指出

On the road
On the road is a beautiful rainbow.
On the road is a large shadow.
On the road is a red and stinging rose.

On the road are good and evil.
On the road are joy and sorrow.
On the road is unknown morrow.

When can I borrow
a few arrows
to shoot at hearts in other worlds?

Why do I puzzle
over the riddle
which always leave me deep in thought?

On the road is past video.
On the road is cruel scuffle.
On the road is feeling on the flow.

On the road are devil and angel.
On the road are fairy and foul.
On the road is more and more and more.

How can I swallow
all the pain and sore?
How can I grow
all the dreams and hope?
How can I review
all the pieces years ago?
How can I achieve
all the ideals and goals?

I cannot be yellow
and I must be bold.
I should not be narrow
and I should be broad.

colorful rainbow.

听西城男孩的seasons in the sun， 你会有灵感的..

语句过于单调，也不是很压韵，放开去想，

you are talent

不足之处就是，你是中国人 你中文都没学好，写什么英文歌？
中文歌都写不出来

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