UC知道改TOEFL作文
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/14 01:14:28
欢迎大家对我的TOEFL作文多提宝贵意见
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever would take a exam next day and found there was a lot of task had not been done,for you spended much time in playing games with your friends in your junior or senior school? When you have to cramp for tomorrow`s test and dreaming a luck day would come,did you feel dispair? people who always working hard would not fall into the troubles like this(and a lot of people do).
If you never have experience like this,you would never know how important the hard working is!
Fist of all,opportunities favors ready head,it takes hard work to get ready. A good case in point is the process of famous invention,lightpulb,by Thomas Edison.When edison intempted to find justable materialas,the filament,he failed one time and another.After failing more than one thousand times,edison eventurally found the greatest material.Just as edison said”there is no substitute for hard work”,such dilemma we often meet in dai
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever would take a exam next day and found there was a lot of task had not been done,for you spended much time in playing games with your friends in your junior or senior school? When you have to cramp for tomorrow`s test and dreaming a luck day would come,did you feel dispair? people who always working hard would not fall into the troubles like this(and a lot of people do).
If you never have experience like this,you would never know how important the hard working is!
Fist of all,opportunities favors ready head,it takes hard work to get ready. A good case in point is the process of famous invention,lightpulb,by Thomas Edison.When edison intempted to find justable materialas,the filament,he failed one time and another.After failing more than one thousand times,edison eventurally found the greatest material.Just as edison said”there is no substitute for hard work”,such dilemma we often meet in dai
我写不出来，不错。
不过
开头过于长，且1没复述问题 2没对3点式做结构暗示
应把写的最好的2段放在最前面
每段结构可以更清晰
结尾最好in conclution，+statement复述+3点式复述+发想+呼吁（注意paraphrase)
还有一些细小的表达，The last （but)not the least,luck(opportunities,fortunately等要常替换）单词拼错(不障碍阅读）不扣分的....
我也在准备托，我给你4分（新东方老师看了，估计只能拿2分）
我想说的是....
结构太死板了...
我知道...老师是这么教的FIRST SECOND LAST...
但是你想想哦 有多少人都是跟着老师学的??
那么考官在改的时候看到你的作文是什么感觉??
和多少人都一样!!
不会给高分的
建议柔和结构...适当调整...不要作文像很多句子的堆砌...明白?
我的托福作文27分...希望你听听我的
THANKS
我想你应该会拿高分
OK.没错