高手帮忙看看我作文有什么毛病

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/27 23:47:23
The cartoon contains what is really two conflicting events.Despite the athletic field, being so magnificent, is the stage of the athlete who is competing seriously for the honour and the spirit of swifter, higher, stronger, some spectators seem to be the authentic actor.a guy is scratching one of his bare foot. just by the side of him a man is eating a bowle of rice. what's more, a person is having a call loudly. Yes.it’s time for them to change.

why shuold these guys change?the cartoon tell us one of the points of a olympic's success is this: everybody shoule make sense of what the behavior of him is not just the behavior of him, and it is the image of all the people of the nation in olympic games.
Everybody should know he is not only a spectator who is watching the glory of the games,but also the glory’s essential portion.If he acts up, our nation could be humiliated before the entire neighborhood.

How will these guys changes? In quite innovative

Perfect

...Despite the athletic field, being so magnificent, which is the stage of the athlete who is competing seriously for the honour and the swifter, higher and stronger spirit, some spectators seem to be the authentic actor....What's more, a person is making a call loudly....

...the cartoon tells us one point of a olympic's success: everybody shoule pay attention to his behavior, because his behavior is not just the behavior of himself, but the image of all the people of this nation in olympic games.

...If he acts up, our nation might be humiliated by other countries.

How will these guys change?...Let the public judge their behaviors...

我一眼看下来看到的错误跟不通顺,其他的有些我看不懂你的意思没有改..

Perfect !

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