诚心学习 请高手帮忙看看这两篇英语短文哪个好一些 第一篇有些什么不足的地方 谢谢了

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/08 06:05:40
Promotion of the cooperation and exchange between Canadian and Chinese Institutes
August 2008,Doctor Many Unusual—the executive president of World Educational，Scientific and Cultural Consortium, pulled the strings of the cooperation between Canada Aero Academy Inc and Qing Dao North Foreign Communication of Education Institute.Canada Aero Academy Inc is one of the Canada flight training insititution forerunners ,it is also a flight institute ,which serves the best flight training for students from all over the world and enjoys great popularity internationally. Qing Dao North Foreign Communication of Education Institute is the base of China and Russia to cultivate the undergraduates,it is included in the government’s items run units which China and Russia Ministries of Education center on and prioritize.Doctor Many Unusual chronologically communicated with the representatives and directors of the two institutes,thus to promote the coorperation of the two parties.

Promot

很显然,第二篇读起来非常顺畅,用词准确,表达的也比较准确,读者看了能够清晰的知道文章在表达什么.
至于第一篇,其存在用词不准,以及语法方面的错误.在此仅稍作说明:
首先是用词方面:1.Promotion 和 Promoting 一个名词一个动词,其区别在于名词表达的是静态含义,只能表现双方做了促进工作,而动词是动态的,不仅能说明双方做了促进工作,并且现在一直都在促进着.
2.Institutes 一词的含义广泛,读者看了不明白到底是什么机构,应该像第二篇中的那样明确说出来.
语法方面:1.时间前面少介词
2.时态不一致,最后一句突然用过去时很突兀,也没必要.
3.最后一句thus to promote the coorperation of the two parties有问题,从整句话看,communicat和promote是并列的动词,既然这样,就不用加to了.

{以上为个人意见,仅供参考 :-)}

我也觉得第二篇好些，原因如下：
首先，从时态上讲，第二篇使用的是一般现在时，这比第一篇的一般过去时更适合于新闻报道题材的文章。
其次，从行文上讲，第一篇的第二句和第三句都过于头重脚轻：主语后跟了一堆修饰语，看得人疲惫不堪。而第二篇则使用了插入语（第二句中的one of the pioneering flying training institutions in Canada和第三句中的the training base for the undergraduate students by China and Russia jointly）来修饰主语，使文章变得跳跃灵活。

第一篇甚至有很低级的语法错误。如
Canada Aero Academy Inc is one of the Canada flight training insititution forerunners ,it is also a flight institute ,

还有一些表达比较awkward，不如第二篇来得自然，简洁。