几篇雅思作文 请批改一下 谢谢

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/29 22:10:48
As the percentage of crime tends to generally rise in urban area,a good many measures to enhance security have been taken by government.Some people claim that the behaviour should be encouraged,while others object to them .And I go along with the former.
On no occasion can we deny that it has some negative influence on society.Initially,it is a high expence that we install dozens of facilities,such as security cameras.And even a proportion of criminals peep others via monitors.Thus citizens’ privacy are infringed.
Nevertheless,if the authorities did not improve the security to protect people’s daily life,our society would became rather dangerous and disordered.Nowadays,government installs burglar proof door for citizens and arrange a considerable number of guards in school and housing estate.Besides,many department stores and shops have security cameras to deter crimes.Therefore the facilities may eliminate potential threat for society.
Furthermore,the monitor can ret

1、'And I go along with the former'中的and要去掉或改小写，单独一句话不需要连接词。
2、On no occasion can we deny that it has some negative influence on society。如果说it does have（强调句）的话更合适也更完美。
3、Initially,it is a high expence that we install dozens of facilities,such as security cameras.And even a proportion of criminals peep others via monitors.有点乱=.=
首先such as最好多写几个such as A,B and C.其次还是句号+and的错误。认为改正后如下：
Initially,it is a high expence that we install dozens of facilities such as security cameras, criminal peeps and even monitors.
4、Nevertheless,if the authorities did not improve the security to protect people’s daily life,our society would became rather dangerous and disordered。
你是想用虚拟语气吧？希望你是打错了：would become不是would became. people's daily life中的people's最好换成residences'
5、government installs burglar proof door for citizens and arrange a considerable number of guards in school and housing estate。
and前面的installs是单三后面的arrange为啥不加s了呢？^o^