UC知道求帮改ielts菜鸟作文，谢谢
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/16 00:57:26
麻烦哪位DX按ielts的标准帮忙批改一下，小弟写作实在是菜，只求6分,感激不尽
Topic:Most cities have traffic and housing problems.Some people suggest that big companies and factories move to
countryside.What's your opinion?
There is a public debate today whether big companies and factories should be moved to countryside.One theory claims big companies and factories are the main reasons of traffic and housing problems.To move them to countryside will solve this issue.Although it sounds plausible,the theory is not actually flawless.My opinion is that to transfer big companies and factories cannot overcome the difficulties,on the contrary,it may cause some new problems.
To begin with,it is wrong to attribute the traffic and housing problems to big companies and factories.Is the number of employees of them big enough to cause traffic problem? Is the area they occupy large adequately to lead to the housing issue? Obviously the answers are not.There is no doubt that the number of empolyees is ju
Topic:Most cities have traffic and housing problems.Some people suggest that big companies and factories move to
countryside.What's your opinion?
There is a public debate today whether big companies and factories should be moved to countryside.One theory claims big companies and factories are the main reasons of traffic and housing problems.To move them to countryside will solve this issue.Although it sounds plausible,the theory is not actually flawless.My opinion is that to transfer big companies and factories cannot overcome the difficulties,on the contrary,it may cause some new problems.
To begin with,it is wrong to attribute the traffic and housing problems to big companies and factories.Is the number of employees of them big enough to cause traffic problem? Is the area they occupy large adequately to lead to the housing issue? Obviously the answers are not.There is no doubt that the number of empolyees is ju
1.一篇好的作文要有充分的Details支持，你的字数就一定程度上反映了这方面的不丰满，导致没有说服力。
2.注意There is no doubt that. Obviouly, 这样的话在你的文章里出现太唐突，并且第一点写的确实让人迷茫，你一上来本来说会造成一些问题然后却阐述大公司与交通什么的没有关系而且不用让我怀疑。证据也就是你这个时候的explanation 是最重要的。如你所说此题就不是debateable 了。
3.套句还是生硬了一些，有些词还是不错的，可是句式多样性有时间还是下下功夫吧。
4.拷贝到Word自己检查检查错误。
5.如果只求六分的话，一定程度上我是白废话了55555555
6.Good Luck!