求帮改ielts作文,谢谢

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/25 09:12:24
目标6分,请指点语法错误,是否偏题了,如何改进,感激不尽

题目:Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think the human nature produces crime? And how can we prevent children from growing up to be criminals?

In contemporary society, it seems that the crime rate increases everyday. In the meantime, one theory claims that we can see whether children will become criminals in the future through studying their behaviour during the period of childhood. So, whether human nature can hardly produce crime is an issue open to debate. As far as I am concerned, human nature is just a small part of the reasons leading to crime.
On the one hand, crime is created by a variety of factors.To be more specific, in the first place, the main reason of crime is the lack of education. More exactly, crime is mainly by reason of the lack of education in morality and law.So there are a lot of crimina

有点小偏。。

题目中有说study the behavior of a three-year-old child ,后面也有说到children。。。

所以下文要谈的东西应该要涉及children才对~

这篇文章除了agree or disagree之外,还要提出解决方法,这点没在文中体现出来。

语法错误其实都是比较普通的错误吧。。

例如可数名词不加冠词不能做主语,名词单复数问题等等。

建议你写完之后复制到word上面。各种语法错误,单词拼写错误一目了然。

如果不偏题的话。。。。6分应该是没问题的。