UC知道请哪位前辈帮我看看这篇雅思作文，能得几分？
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/30 23:04:19
题目：Describe some of the biggest changes in your country.Are they all good changes?
这是我的作文：
One day by chance, I found an old photo of my mom. In that old black and white photo, her hair style, her clothes, and even the buildings behind her seemed so unique. Those styles can be hardly seen in today’s Chinese society. And that's when I realized my country really changed a lot during the past thirty years.
The fast economical development has made us a better living. Computer, television, air-conditions and other electronic s does not represent a sign of richness anymore, because most families have these appliances. And that's why our country improved as a whole.
A twenty- floor building can no longer be a city’s symbol, as skyscrapers are now seen everywhere. People slowly live into larger and larger houses, posse more and more items and are able to eat better meals. This shows a sign of wealth that we are slowly gaining.
At the same t
这是我的作文：
One day by chance, I found an old photo of my mom. In that old black and white photo, her hair style, her clothes, and even the buildings behind her seemed so unique. Those styles can be hardly seen in today’s Chinese society. And that's when I realized my country really changed a lot during the past thirty years.
The fast economical development has made us a better living. Computer, television, air-conditions and other electronic s does not represent a sign of richness anymore, because most families have these appliances. And that's why our country improved as a whole.
A twenty- floor building can no longer be a city’s symbol, as skyscrapers are now seen everywhere. People slowly live into larger and larger houses, posse more and more items and are able to eat better meals. This shows a sign of wealth that we are slowly gaining.
At the same t
主要问题是, 句型太普通了. 看起来很形式化, 显得很空洞没有说服力. 而且你还要多注意一下动词和副词的用法. 里面有些小错误.
我觉得还是抛开中文的那些辅导书, (你的文章满满的都是辅导书的形式和味道), 看一些英文的辅导, 或者英文的作文, 不一定是雅思应试的作文, 什么都可以, 看看人家的句子是怎么说的. 还有就是一楼说的, 用词上比较单调简单, 可以借助同义词典认识更多的词.
祝你成功! :)
我个人认为5.5左右吧，语言不是很“学术”，用词上没有高分词，想拿更高的分数不是很容易
5分，
语言和句型比较简单，没有学术用语。