UC知道帮忙改改我的英语作文 初学者不要误人子弟啊
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/10 16:18:20
I went to the shop and bought the birthday gift for my father.Then ,I get to the subway train .The train was fulled of people and only have one seat .of crouse i sat down.
When i was in the subway train ,i imagined the scene when my father get the birthday gift .that was good
one minute later ,i realized a old woman was in the train with two baggages in her hards . At that time ,i was so apologetic and stood up .i say"oh,i'm sorry ,please sit down! "The woman say"thanks".
I thought we shuold rescept the old peopleand give them love .So they will feel happy and their life will get longer.
Well ,it's time to go to bed.
请说出我的错处 和why 谢谢啦 i want to improve my English
第一行“the birthday gift”改成“one birthday gift”,因为只是说去买礼物，并没有特指要买哪一个礼物
第一行的get换成got，这个是单纯的时态错误
第二行的fulled换成full，这里的短语是“be full of”,你应该是把be full of和be filled with混淆了
“only have one seat”换成“there was only one seat”,因为主语是物，所以最好不要用have，即使要用也应该是has，因为是单数
“of crouse i sat down”有点怪怪的，不是很合适，直接用“so I sat down”就可以了
第三行“scene”一般指自然风景，在这里用image更合适
第四行的that was good我不知道你想表达什么，能删就删了吧
第五行a old woman应该改成an old woman,这个冠词的问题我想你应该是一时马虎，不至于不懂，我就不详细讲了
at that time跟语境不搭，最好拿掉
i was so apologetic and stood up .i say"oh,i'm sorry ,please sit down! "这两句都用I作为开头，会显得累赘，建议把第二句的I say换成saying
第七行的say换成said,是单纯的时态混乱
第八行把the old people改成old people,记住，加了the的话就是特指某个或某些老人了，这里你的意思是泛指一切老人，所以不可以有the，或者你也可以改成the old，the+形容词是泛指具有这一特征或符合这一条件的人或物
So they will feel happy and their life will get longer.改成so they can feel much happier.因为老人本来就不是不快乐的，所以我们给了他们爱之后，他们应该是更快乐，但是这个跟长寿关系不大所以不需要说活得