紧急!!!高人帮忙翻译成英文自我介绍!答得好追加 用翻译软件的不要!谢谢大家

我觉得你的行文顺序得调整一下，按照西方的说话习惯来。
Good evening,teachers and classmates.I am Tang Yawen,and my English name is Candy.I'm a student of Class 4,and my major is Business Administration.It's my honor to participate in this activity here,and I hope I will impress you tonight. I had been in Kunming where is green all year around since I was a little girl. But now, I am 18 years old. I fond of singing and English is my favorite. I think I am a chipper and optimistic girl just like my English name Candy ,very sweet. I hope I can unfold my own ability and special to you. Thank you very much!
你要选别人的也可以。但出于回答问题负责人的态度，有几点我要说：impress 后面直接跟sb，而不能加in,中文的谢谢大家在国外一般直接为了礼貌，要加very much.英文介绍自己的时候往往要先说个人信息，再说你的职业和学历之类的。

Good evening,teachers and classmates,I'm a student of Class 4,Business Administration.My name is Tang Yawen,and my English name is Candy,I'm 18-year-old.Today,it's my honor to take part in the competition here,and I hope my performance will impress in you.From