六级作文,请高人帮我改一下谢了

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/05 16:53:05
请把错误帮我改一下,还有大概估个分,谢谢
Should One Except A Reward When Doing A Good Deed?
As regards doing a good deed,there has been a heated discussion among the general pubic in society .Some people believe that accepting a reward after doing a good dde can stimulate him doing more good deeds.While even more people disagree that doing a good deed only aimming to expecting a respectful reward,and it isn't kind-hearded for him to do so .All he expects is the reward after the deed.He can't do it wholehearted.We respect the person who does good deed like Lei Feng,not a man who helps others for rewards.
As to this issue ,my view is that rewards can encourage more people to help others who is in trouble ,And we appreciate those who help us out of danger.As we all know,with soceity improvement,it is impossible for people to help others like the hero Lei feng.So why not thank them for helping us ? Only in this way ,can both of us acquaint what we want.
如果按六级的标准,109分满

Should One [accept] A Reward When Doing A Good Deed?
As regards [to] doing a good deed,there has been a heated discussion among the general pubic in [the] society .Some people believe that accepting a reward after doing a good [deed] can stimulate [them] [to do] more good deeds.While [others] disagree [and think] that [people do good deeds are only intending a] respectful reward,and it isn't kind-hearded for [them] to do so .[If] all he expects is the reward after the deed[, h]e can't do it wholehearted.We respect the person who does good deeds like Lei Feng,not [as] a man who helps others for rewards.
As to this issue ,my view is that rewards can encourage more people to help others who [are] in trouble ,[a]nd we appreciate those who help us out [in] danger.As we all know,with soceit[al] improvement,it is impossible for people to help others like the hero Lei feng.So why not thank them for helping us ? Only in this way ,can both of us [acquire] what we want. <