帮我看一下这几个英语句子通不通顺

Sally rode to the park at 11:00 last Sunday.It was 11:10 when she watched the sea, a man took away the bike.Around 11:20,Sally came back,but didn't find her bike.She was too surprised and upset,then she called the police.
1、注意时态的用法，不是所有的句子都用进行时，短暂性动词不用进行时。
2、注意动词不同时态的拼写
我不知道作文要求是什么，但切忌不要写成流水账。英文和中文写作是一样的。

Sally rade a bike to the park last Sunday. While she was watching the sea, the time was 11:10.At 11:15, a man took the bike and got out of the park. About 11:20, sally came back and didn't find her bike.She was surprised and upseted,then she called the police.

Sally was riding a bike to a park at 11:00 last Sunday. It was 11:10 when she watched the sea. At about 11:15, a man took her bike away and getting out of the park. Around 11:20, Sally came back and didn't find her bike any more. She was surprised and upset, so she called the police for help.

Sally went to a park at 11:00 last Sunday. While she finally got to the sea ,the time was