UC知道能帮忙评估一下这篇作文的雅思分数吗？
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/12 11:45:24
按照剑桥5第二篇测试的作文2，我自己写了一篇，请高手帮忙评估一个分数，因为我就要参加考试了，想看一下自己的作文处于什么水平，如果可以，也可以给些修改建议。我的目标是作文争取得到6.5分。这篇文章我用了38分钟写完的。谢谢了。
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题目：
Write about the following topic:
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from yourn own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
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In present-day society, some countries encourage their youths to have a trip or find a part-time job after graduating from high school for a year before entering universities. This may involve problems in terms of its cost. However, there are still many advantages of doing hat.
First of all, working for a year can improve practical skills. Whatever the job is, people ar
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题目：
Write about the following topic:
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from yourn own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
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In present-day society, some countries encourage their youths to have a trip or find a part-time job after graduating from high school for a year before entering universities. This may involve problems in terms of its cost. However, there are still many advantages of doing hat.
First of all, working for a year can improve practical skills. Whatever the job is, people ar
四大段，大的结构很合理，语法上也基本没什么错误。6.5分问题不大。
第2段和第3段的第一句不是很好。第2段应该加上“支持这种观点的人认为...”或相似的语句。
第3段开头加上，“但是，持反对意见的人却认为： ....”
第3段和第2段比起来，第2段似乎应该是重点，占的篇幅是不是应该较多？而你的文章看起来，似乎第3段还长于第2段。
这是我对这篇文章的一点拙见，不要见笑。
最好是请专业的雅思老师评一下，那样收获会很大的。
最后祝你雅思成功，顺利拿到签证。