请大家帮我看看这句话有错么？我写的 谢谢大家！！

前半句可以这样改the good relationship between students and teachers which can make our teaching atmosphere more and more harmonious.
(重复过多,表达不怎么清晰,特别是which depends on our joint efforts to promote.)

us 改成 our

没看明白，其实简单的语法比较好。你这样写很容易让人浑浊你想表达的重点。

the good relationship between students and teachers, which makes the campus more and more harmonious, depends on our joint efforts of improvement.