谁要帮我改下雅思作文?谢谢

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/05/29 09:47:32
the rapid development of modern science and techology in which we are living ,there are
existed a great controversy with reference to this issue in first centary .The diversy of diference among problems makes it hard for people abtain one complete agreement upon this topic .In my opinion the following aspects of discussing may be of help to deepen our understanding of cars .

Everything in the sun , unfortunatly tends to be armed with two properties positive and negative ,which is on exception of this cace .Firstly ,it will go against enverionment protecting ,impair more oil ,and baffle traffic development ,for example ,Now more and more people like to buy cars .then globle warming is beacuse of using oil is exhausted hot gas by the cars .wWhat is more , it will be able consum more oil in future.

Despite its existing two properties ,I consider gaverment should pays attention to this issue and controlling cars of quantity .Besides , reinfore traffic manage

说实话这文章比较难以卒读……
不知道你的目标是多少,5分?6分?建议不要搬用那些一看就是中国考生写的,在哪都可以用的句子。你想想你这篇文章里面有几个句子,几个短语是自己写出来的?就像你写中文作文一样,你上来都是“随着现代科技迅猛发展……”“每个事物都有其两面性”这样的句子么?正常一点,不用刻意去追求什么套路模板,简简单单把你想说的话说出来即可。
如果时间允许的话可以看看语法书,把基本的语法句法知识理一遍了再开始动笔作文。因为毫不客气的说,基本上每个句子都存在成分不完整,或者搭配不当的问题。
另外,你至少先贴在word里面,让机器检查下单词错误,句子残缺等基本错误后再发上来,对自己负责,对别人负责!
祝好运!

作文题目应该是现在社会发展引起的一些环境问题吧。。。
你的文章中心段写的有点少,但中心思想还是明确。。
语法呢。还行,但你很多单词拼写有错误。。。
如果我是考官,那我给你5.5

拼错好多啊