这样翻译英文合适吗

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/21 14:37:07
不知道下面的这段话，这应译成英文合适吗？
“天上的，听着，我会保持这个好的状态，如果没做到，请让我失败一辈子。好了，就这么多，你听到了么。”
译：The guy in the heaven!
Listening to me
I will keep this great state on
If I cann't achieve
Okay! Let me be defeated for a lifetime. ，please!
Well ,that's all
Have you heard ?

我不知道你这个天上的表什么，是某个死去的对你很重要的人，还是天上的人如上帝。

Listening to me ，the God/Gods/ghost! --

I will keep this great state on --I will always be in this perfect state--in state,perfect is better than great here .

If I cann't keep with it/if I cant do it.

Okay! please let me be in failare my lifetime. ，
Well ,that's all
Have you heard ?

润色：

Listen to me,
the guy in the heaven!
I will keep this great state.
If I can't do it, let me suffer the defeat for a lifetime.
OK，that's all.
Have you heard me?