UC知道请各位帮忙修改一下个人陈述
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/04/29 02:37:25
我的情况是现在已在美国亚利桑那大学学习一年，现在想申请大三转去伯克利特设的文科计算机科学专业。我现在的专业是电子工程，所以与目标稍有不同。
http://students.berkeley.edu/files/Admissions/12626_5.Info_TransAdm.pdf
这里是写作的要求，一是写兴趣活动，二是写个人素质
At the time I was to leave for the United States from China, I presented my computer to my friend, Dai. It might not be the first but at least second computer for him.
In middle school, I took part in an activity, ‘hands in hands’. In this activity, I lived with a rural family consisting of a boy named Dai and his parents. Dai was as young as me, but his family was not rich. Even through, this nice family served me their best food and treated me sincerely. Knowing I was a computer fan as well, Dai was eager to have his own computer so he often asked me questions about it. His face impressions showed happiness, tension, sadness as I described. His simple but hard wish gr
http://students.berkeley.edu/files/Admissions/12626_5.Info_TransAdm.pdf
这里是写作的要求，一是写兴趣活动，二是写个人素质
At the time I was to leave for the United States from China, I presented my computer to my friend, Dai. It might not be the first but at least second computer for him.
In middle school, I took part in an activity, ‘hands in hands’. In this activity, I lived with a rural family consisting of a boy named Dai and his parents. Dai was as young as me, but his family was not rich. Even through, this nice family served me their best food and treated me sincerely. Knowing I was a computer fan as well, Dai was eager to have his own computer so he often asked me questions about it. His face impressions showed happiness, tension, sadness as I described. His simple but hard wish gr
I read your PS. I feel that you could make change in the following way:
(1) Talk about your college experience in the U.S. first. It is more relevant than "Dai's story". Talk more about what you have learnt in univesity, and why you want to transfer to Berkeley.
(2)Talk more about your personal ambition, and your passion with computer major.
(3) Shorten "Dai's story". Dai's story is more about proverty than your interest in computer science. It is not so relevant.
Good luck!