帮忙修改英语文章（presentation稿）。。。谢谢

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/14 17:30:38
题目是想一种方法改善城市人的生活，我就选的生态建筑。希望帮忙改正一下不通顺不正确的地方。而且需要口语化一点，便于观众可以听懂。谢谢
Ecological building
Our earth is a miracle. Seeing from the space craft, you will be so surprised about the beauty of our earth, the blue sea, the green continents and white cloud. While landing in the city, you will be astonished about the very scaring scenery. The cities are attacked by sand storm, because of the lack of plants. As overusing of the fossil fuel, the air was polluted by the dust.
Do you want to live in a garden city? Do you want to be surrounded by beautiful scenery?
Today, I will offer you a special way to solve these problems. That is ecological building. It will offer you a poetic home.
We will put effort on several aspects to improve its function.
Let’s view the first step----to build the eco-garden. The various plants in uptown can reduce air pollution, improve the climate around this area and furthermore give you a sense of beauty. If the land in the city is limited, w

you will be so surprised about the beauty of our earth, the blue sea, the green continents and white cloud. 应该用冒号吧？而且从逻辑上说，white cloud好像不对，这好像不是earth的一部分啊~

landing in 改为landing on

while前加转折词，however

不好意思，没时间看了，第一二段缺乏过渡。第一段的逻辑关系不明确。整篇有很多的简单的时态，如：is already 和冠词之类的小错误，请认真检查下，还有很多的动词搭配不当。要网上叫人一个一个改，很麻烦的喔~找英文老师改啦~

Ecological building
Our earth is a miracle. Seeing from the space , you will be so surprised about the beauty of the earth, the blue sea, the green continents and white cloud. While landing in the city, you will be astonished about the very scaring scenery. The cities are attacked by sand storm because of the lack of plants. As overusing of the fossil fuel, the air is polluted by the dust.
Do you want to live in a garden city? Do you want to be surrounded by beautiful scenery?
Today, I will offer you a special way to solve these problems. That is ecological building. It will offer you a poetic home.
We will put effo