英语好的进,帮我修改下此文章的错误地方,详细点最好.

来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/04/28 09:19:46
I feel very very very happy these day.
Because I am at my home.
I can see my mother every day and night.When I at univercity I can't see her even I feel so sick.Some time I think if I can't see her right now ,I will die,I can't see her all the same.
I'm relly a typical homegirl ,my mother and my family brimming my heart all the time,wether I am young or old,poor or rich,sick or health,at home or strange land.
hehe my english is so sick ,so today goodbay
happyending.

首先是DAYS应该是。其次用AT HOME表示在家中间不要加限定词。我不能看到我妈妈因此我很难过。你用的EVEN,这是甚至的意思。但是我还是不能看到她,这有个转折的意味。下面几个排比句中,既然你第一个是YOUNG在前面,也就是说好的在前面,后面两个都应该用这个排列保持一致。后面我英语不好,外国人都不这样讲,他们什么不好都说“ IM WORKING ON IT”。最后一句话也有点毛病。

全文改正如下:

I feel very very very happy these days.
Because I am at home.
I can see my mother every day and night.When I at univercity I can't see her and thus I feel so sick.Sometimes I think if I can't see her right now ,I will die.But I still can't see her .I'm really a typical homegirl ,my mother and my family brimming my heart all the time,no matter I am young or old,rich or poor,healthy or sick ,at home or at abroad .
hehe im working on my english ,so goodbye today's happy ending .

不过感觉你文章中,特别是写你想你妈妈那几句有点拖沓,你可以自己精简一下。

第一行;省略三个very [你的太罗嗦] 改为i feel happy very much these,把day 改成 days因为是这几天!复数
第二行;改because i stay at home[你的语法写错了]
第三行;改 ^^^^^ mother all day. even改so [因此我难受]
第四行;sometimes !![是一个词,不能分开写